"Anyone who sets himself up as "religious" by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air. Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world."
James 1:27 (The Message)
After much researching and praying, my husband and I decided to go with MLJ Adoptions, Inc. for our agency to help see us through the adoption journey. We also have chosen the Democratic Republic of Congo program to find our child.
Why THAT program you ask? Simple answer: I have NO idea! I looked through a lot of different programs, some qualifications or length of travel cut us out immediately, so that was easy. The possibilities of programs were endless to me. How do I choose? How do I know that's where God is leading us? So I set it all down (meaning I shut down my computer...and my brain) and I just prayed. I prayed continuously about this whole journey. God didn't shout from the heavens "CONGO!" but in my heart and mind I could not stop thinking about it. I have no connection to it, none...at least not yet.
As I reviewed our application a million times to make sure everything was filled out, signed and then sealed in the envelope...the anxious/excited feelings started to set in. Probably more than anything FEAR. Fear of the unknown as we dive into something that is "not us". We will look a little weird, and that's okay. For the first time in a long time I feel joy. I'm looking outside of my selfish desires and letting God take the reigns.
To be honest, I was hesitant of the questions that we would face from family and friends.
Questions like:
Why adopt?
Why adopt internationally?
How much is this going to cost? How are you going to pay for it?
How long is this going to take?
Can't you have kids biologically anymore?
And the questions go on...and on...and on. Allan just looked at me and said, "Who cares? We will do what is best for us and if it looks weird then so what." I love how settle he is. :)
It's hard for me to put into words exactly why I want to adopt. I asked God to do something radical, rather He make ME do something radical in my life over a year ago. I was feeling "dry" in my faith, I was going through the motions but I knew I was missing something. I wasn't DOING what I was supposed to be and knew I should. I wasn't serving Him like I should. I wasn't following Him like He told me too.
I lived in my comfort zone, giving money here and there...even in the church...just doing the "American church" thing. I prayed for brokenness. I asked for forgiveness for omitting this part of my faith...the doing part. Through scripture, and books...I realized where I've been, where I was, and where I want to be.
That's why I want to adopt. I want to be obedient to the plans God has for me. I want to be obedient to his Word. He tells us to care for the orphan...I want to do that. He tells us to care for the poor...I want to do that. He tells us to LOVE others...I want to do that.
I know God will give me the answers when we are ready. I know that this journey will change our lives forever. I can hardly wait to make a difference in the life of a child.
Jamie
